facebook note repost 04

what to focus on.
by Jacy Moore on Monday, November 1, 2010 at 10:32pm

Beneath me.

I'm stuck with horrible fixations that once had me coughing up blood. Certainly, I should know better than this but the radio is on maximum and I could care less if you came with the intention of telling me otherwise. I dislike what has become of this prolonged silence with myself. I don't want to admit to myself the bad and the ugly of this educed immoral life of mine. I want to break habits as I've told myself further and further before. I think I should cut all ties to the opposite sex so I can truly focus on the brighter things in life. But honestly, I don’t think this will ever work out.

For the lack of better words, “insert bad word here.”

Growing accustom to a lifestyle so different from yours can be time constraining. You use so much of your time killing yourself over something so small because it isn’t seen fit to do anything otherwise. You are faced with options that leave you pondering questions like, “Why didn’t I choose the red one instead of the green one?” You think you could do this particular thing because it leaves you smiling. But the world surrounding you, chooses otherwise for you. Certainly, the one you don’t want to do, you are forced to. For the lack of better words, fucked.

You thought everything was going to be okay. Well, you were wrong.

I want to stop thinking. Maybe it'll help prolong this distance. I have no idea what I got myself into. The piles of workload are alarming. To think or not to think. I’d pick, to not think whatsoever. I’m tired of this cycle, back and forth to the same routines. need a picker upper, please? A place with free thoughts and no workload piles. Might I add an endless buffet of everything I like to eat! The shellfish is much too selfish.

Mercy.

You know it's never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It's always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Someone works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly; someone else sails along for the ride.

A photo says, you were happy, and I wanted to catch that. A photo says, you were so important to me that I put down everything else to come watch.

You can love someone so much, he thought. But you can never love people as much as you can miss them.